Ryan's Thoughts

By Ryan

“a feeling of excitement and mystery associated with love.” (Oxford English Dictionary). Has the definition of Romance change with the time, or has it stayed the same? I’ve noticed in my 19 years of life; Romance has become more about what we can give to each other, rather than having equality in the relationship. In my romantic eyes, I’d like to think that “True Love” hasn’t changed, but sometimes being a romantic is like, leading life with rose-tinted glasses. But why has Romance changed so much through many centuries?

In my blog, ‘Dating in the Adult World’ I referred, “With the rise of technology, many turn to dating apps to find their love.”, that sentence still stands, but could technology be a cause of romance changing? I say yes, because in the Philippines; Harana (a form of serenading) was a way for Filipino men to court women, and to prove their worth by having patience and perfecting writing a song to the one they love. Another way is; Kokuhaku, it’s a Japanese way of confessing to the person wholeheartedly either in public or a private meeting, which removes the question such as: “are we a couple or just hooking up?” or “when will we take this relationship seriously?”. These archetypes for confession are unfortunately dying, because of society’s standards of rushing people who aren’t ready. So, why have we lowered our standards, and given our fullest in situationships?

Human are social creatures, and with that we as a society have all concurred that; “not being in a romantic relationship is Hell itself”. Personally, I think we should focus on our platonic relationships, and day to day happenings, to help us mature, and become more responsible in a romantic relationship when we’re ready to explore. With experience, we can avoid unnecessary heartbreak whenever you get involved with another person. Therefore, having meaningful platonic relationships can help us raise our awareness whenever we aren’t being treated right, and have the courage to breakaway from them.

The “honeymoon period”, is a familiar term that describes, relationships that only last for a month or three. What I believe happens in those relationships, is that they give so much to the relationship at the start that, they eventually burn themselves out in the relationship, and sometimes we fall in love with the idea, instead of the actual person. Then we slowly lose feelings when we get into a relationship with them.

Actions than words, have been the base of most couples. In older relationships, I tend to notice that many don’t say sorry after a bicker or a huge fight, I see many of them: buying flowers, or giving their partner’s space. I also notice this with my friends that have been together for years or even months. One always write letters to their partner even when they live together, another plays their partner’s favorite song or movie to make them happier and perhaps willing to be more forgiving. I think actions are so much better than words, because sometimes words can become a double-edge blade, and sometimes as humans we tend go back on our words.

In conclusion, as a society we tend to skip over the important parts of making a relationship work, because in a world where situationships thrives, we can perceive Love as a transaction. Lasting relationships should be about; taking time, creating trust with a person, it should have ups and downs so it shows that no matter what, they can persevere hardship. Perfection shouldn’t be the end goal, fully understanding your partner should.