Ryan's Thoughts

I think aloud and overthink a lot!

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My favorite flowers are Roses I spend my day offs either rotting at home or galavanting with my sister. I post on Wednesdays (if I’m not too lazy to write)
  • Romance in the Modern World (in the Perspective of a Romantic)

    Romance in the Modern World (in the Perspective of a Romantic)

    By Ryan

    “a feeling of excitement and mystery associated with love.” (Oxford English Dictionary). Has the definition of Romance change with the time, or has it stayed the same? I’ve noticed in my 19 years of life; Romance has become more about what we can give to each other, rather than having equality in the relationship. In my romantic eyes, I’d like to think that “True Love” hasn’t changed, but sometimes being a romantic is like, leading life with rose-tinted glasses. But why has Romance changed so much through many centuries?

    In my blog, ‘Dating in the Adult World’ I referred, “With the rise of technology, many turn to dating apps to find their love.”, that sentence still stands, but could technology be a cause of romance changing? I say yes, because in the Philippines; Harana (a form of serenading) was a way for Filipino men to court women, and to prove their worth by having patience and perfecting writing a song to the one they love. Another way is; Kokuhaku, it’s a Japanese way of confessing to the person wholeheartedly either in public or a private meeting, which removes the question such as: “are we a couple or just hooking up?” or “when will we take this relationship seriously?”. These archetypes for confession are unfortunately dying, because of society’s standards of rushing people who aren’t ready. So, why have we lowered our standards, and given our fullest in situationships?

    Human are social creatures, and with that we as a society have all concurred that; “not being in a romantic relationship is Hell itself”. Personally, I think we should focus on our platonic relationships, and day to day happenings, to help us mature, and become more responsible in a romantic relationship when we’re ready to explore. With experience, we can avoid unnecessary heartbreak whenever you get involved with another person. Therefore, having meaningful platonic relationships can help us raise our awareness whenever we aren’t being treated right, and have the courage to breakaway from them.

    The “honeymoon period”, is a familiar term that describes, relationships that only last for a month or three. What I believe happens in those relationships, is that they give so much to the relationship at the start that, they eventually burn themselves out in the relationship, and sometimes we fall in love with the idea, instead of the actual person. Then we slowly lose feelings when we get into a relationship with them.

    Actions than words, have been the base of most couples. In older relationships, I tend to notice that many don’t say sorry after a bicker or a huge fight, I see many of them: buying flowers, or giving their partner’s space. I also notice this with my friends that have been together for years or even months. One always write letters to their partner even when they live together, another plays their partner’s favorite song or movie to make them happier and perhaps willing to be more forgiving. I think actions are so much better than words, because sometimes words can become a double-edge blade, and sometimes as humans we tend go back on our words.

    In conclusion, as a society we tend to skip over the important parts of making a relationship work, because in a world where situationships thrives, we can perceive Love as a transaction. Lasting relationships should be about; taking time, creating trust with a person, it should have ups and downs so it shows that no matter what, they can persevere hardship. Perfection shouldn’t be the end goal, fully understanding your partner should.

  • Reasons for Violence

    by Ryan

    Before you start reading, this opinion essay is heavily political, and talks about different wars in history. If that upsets you or doesn’t align with your own opinions, please don’t force yourself to read this. Also this will be a long one 🙂

    “Ordinary people can become monsters… simply by being given power and a role,” (Phillip Zimbardo). In the years of the world, it has seen multiple initiations of wars and violence between our fellow humans. Many wars have been incited by differences in our ideologies, religions, and/or a grab for resources whether for selfish gains or to help their countries. However, most conflicts were frowned upon by the populace, except when they found a reason for violence.

    These conflicts will be focused on US History, since most of my readers are Americans, and they’ll be more familiar with these conflicts. On February 15, 1898, the sinking of USS Maine had everyone shocked; With the confusion of the explosion many credited publishers exploited the situation (to deepen their pockets) and created a little thing called ‘Yellow Journalism’. The “Blame the Maine on Spain” had given the citizens of the United State to back up the start of the Spanish-American War. In Hearst’s ‘Spain’s Victory on Peace’ he stated, “but accident or not, it would never have happened if there had been peace in Cuba, as there would have been if we had done our duty.” (Hearst, 1898).Thus making the people more accepting of war with Spain, and so begins the US Imperialism throughout the late 1800s. With the annexation of Hawai’i and Guam in the Pacific, the Filipino-American War, and the annexation of Puerto Rico in South America. These takeovers were all done for the “good” of the countries.

    Another example of the US’ “Savior Complex” is, in the 1950s through 1991, when the US and the USSR (Now Russia, and some Eastern European countries) had a very heated argument on which ideology is better than the other. And with that, it started many wars in different parts of the world, such as the 20 year war in Vietnam. As Burleigh Hendrickson stated in his article, ‘Cold War: An Overview, “they increased their military capabilities, tried to expand their global influence, and undermined the other’s way of life in the eyes of the world.” (Hendrickson, n.d.,). These tactics would avoid Nuclear war, however we mustn’t excuse the way these two Powers played God, by having other countries suffer for their benefits, for example; the Vietnam War lasted for TWENTY years, and giving weapons to different countries to fuel their own economics, while those countries that were at each others’ throats, they had economic instability, famine, and countless of lives lost from those wars.

    With these different conflicts throughout human history, most of them have been started by the power who rule our countries. Humanity had suffered from wars, famines, genocides, and death, all because the rich and powerful had led us to our own destruction, as Meryl Streep said on the 2017 Golden Globe, “Violence invites violence. When the powerful use their position to bully others, we all lose.”. When the populace agrees with the wrongful treatment of others, we give them strength and reason to continue their behaviors. So, I implore you to learn and expand your thinking, if we can’t invite knowledge how are we expected to not repeat atrocities onto each other. How many more must we ask to take lives, and families before we realize, that if we participate in their games we all lose hope, and let fear win.

    In conclusion, ignorance isn’t bliss. It’s a helping start to the greedy and powerful, if we don’t explore different topics about our past we are no better than our predecessors, we also become compliant to their orders. Use that conscience to form opinions and use our voice so we can help others, as Hopper implored the other grasshoppers in A Bug’s Life, “You let one ant stand up to us, and they all might stand up! Those “puny little ants” outnumber us a hundred to one.” (1998). Standing up will always give us a glimpse of a better future for everyone. When we stand together, we get better chances at having a life, instead of fearing what could happen to us.

  • UPDATE

    HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

    I’m still alive! I unfortunately burnt myself out with writing one of these :’). BUT I promise you that I’ll have one or two posted Next Wednesday, for my absence and I hope you’ll enjoy them!

  • Dating in the Adult World

    Dating in the Adult World

    by Ryan

    With the rise of technology, many turn to dating apps to find their love. However, most people have found out that; conversations in chats are easily manipulated into something we want to hear. But are there any prospects outside dating apps?

    I’ve interviewed people who are in the age of 20-35, and most are tired of going into apps, and some have partners with longtime friends or met from places, like schools, parties, work, and their communities. All twenty of the interviewees have said that, while it’s harder to date outside dating apps, the relationships are far better because if they meet in a location they both like, they already share a common interest. Such as, meeting at a coffee shop both like, or a friend’s party. On the other side, using dating apps may be easier, however some may feel guilty about swiping left on others. And with that, it can be repetitive and exhausting to do, even with finding a match, most have found that the conversation can turn dry very quickly, and some even experienced getting an explicit photo without their consent. So, is there a way we can live our romcom fantasy in the real world? Which leads me to my next point.

    Third spaces. Where are they now, and why has it become difficult to find them? With the rise of suburbanization, many walkable third spaces have been affected. Most cities have turned cars into necessities, and it’s one of the main causes of “natural love” depleting, and why it’s harder to find communities we can be comfortable in. Therefore, we turn to dating apps because they’re inexpensive and efficient. Unfortunately, with searching for “The One” we tend to dismiss some people that shows attractions towards us, we also have expectations and different beauty standards, which can also make it difficult for us to find love in third spaces as well.

    Could we find “true love” in dating apps? Short answer, yes. However, in my interviews I found; only THREE out of twenty have found lasting partnership in dating apps, Nine interviewees have found lasting partnerships at third spaces, and Eight had on and offs with dating app dates. However, many on the internet have found love in apps as well, though my interviews show a minimum chance, please keep in mind that I only interviewed twenty people, and being in a small town can also affect that. Furthermore, we should be a little bit optimistic about finding “The One”.

    In conclusion, people’s opinions about each other can be a bigger block, than the rise of dependency in technology, and the shortage of third spaces with suburbanization.